| (no subject) |
[May. 21st, 2008|04:07 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Blink 182-I Miss You | ] |
I just cut off all the hair i had. I spent an hour doing it, because i had so much hair, and it was all so thick.
i dunno if I like it yet, but i can wear my hat now without all my hair poking out the sides of it haha.
I will have pictures sometime, although i don't think i've changed in appearance at all. |
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| So i've found light in everything these days... |
[Apr. 14th, 2008|02:42 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Good Clean Puns by Too Tall Grizzly | ] |
I've had the past few weeks to think and contemplate all the things happening in my life. And really, i know that everything is going to be just fine. I have all my friends and family to thank for this. I know they've put up with me for as long as I can remember, and I hope one of these days, i can help them like they've all helped me. They've all shown me that no matter how far things fall, no matter how hard it is to pick it all back up, it's still possible. They've also shown me that love is something you should always look for, but never give it up for anything in the world. Even if they haven't taught me that, i figured it out through their experiences of which they shared with me. They've taught me that I am the only one who controls my life, and that a little initiative is all anything takes.
I know what i must do, and i know how i will do it. All it takes is time, patience, and a little bit of planning.
Song url: www.myspace.com/2tallgrizzly |
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| wtf |
[Mar. 18th, 2008|07:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  infuriated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I Am the Wind, You Are the Feather-Vanna | ] |
dude, listen to yourself when you talk about allt he shit that happened.
Yeah, we get it, you still miss her, but honestly, pick your life up, stop fucking blaming a game for the breakup you experienced almost 4 fucking months ago. Not playign the game is not going to bring her back, and we all miss playing with our best friend. You wqere the reason i even started playing. It all seems now that you want us all to stop playing the game, just because you have too much pain form playing with that shebitch of a creature. I'm really sick of your blaming things on stuff that doesn't even matter, you could have even saved yourself the trouble of having to go through anything you went through by doing something about it all when it started to become a problem. get a fucking hold of yourself, and stop being such a freakin' douchbag when someone trys to tell you this shit too, honestly, it's like you avoid it because you don't want to be reminded of it all. Well i got a little something to say, and your all gonna wanna close your eyes for a little while. or at least skip the next paragraph.
I have thsi migraine headache that hits me whenever i exert myself. Once i get the blood flowing, it hurts liek a motherfucker, worse then breaking a tooth, worse than a cavity thats so deep in your gums, you'd think it wasn't even there. And you know what? that includes masturbation, i couldn't play with myself without feeling excruciating pain. It's worse than being whipped while your having sex.
Needless to say, i know a thing or two about pain keeping me form doing what i enjoy, and you know what? I hate to say it, but grow the fuck up, this isn't high school anymore, you don't get to make everyone feel bad because you can't so shit you used to do before you even met the girl without thinking about her and missing her. Let me tell you something buddy, you rememebr what happened with hannah, when in 12 fucking days she tore my heart out and ate it? yeah, well, i don't care if i still wasn't fully over it, i coudl still take walks, i could still watch awesome movies liek Interview with a Vampire, and i coudl sure as hell go to school the next fuckin day.
I'm really tired of your childish behaviour. I really am.
And while i'm on a fucking roll, some of you disgust me, no matter how many times soemone can try to reach out, you only assume knowledge fo their existance when you see them in public but don't want to make them feel bad. I don't care where the fuck you work, i don't care how odd it is that my firneds happen to want to eat somewhere you work. I don't want you sayign Hi to me then not talking to me the rest of the time i'm there, or for that matter, ignoring any attempt i try to keep contact. You lsiten here and listen fucking good, i'd rather you nto speak to me ever again, i rather you see me in public and not say a god damn thing, i would rather you act as though you never fuckign met me than have you say hi, rememebr my name, and then not say shit for the rest fo fucking eternity.
Ok, all set, i'm done.
Oh, and idc how bad this ma piss you off, leave a comment if you happen to want to keep in touch, not because you want to get your fucking shots in. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 11th, 2008|11:48 am] |
| [ | music |
| | I am the Wind, You Are the Feather-Vanna | ] |
i like to do this all day, sit here, listening to music, all day long, and just waiting for something exciting. I start to imagine things will happen any second. It leaves somethign else to look forward to. I make it sound like its something bad, but really, i'm actually very excited, because how do I know if theres an ostrich outside my house waiting to kick me in the chest? How do I know there isn't? I wish there were, i'd get all prepared for the smallest thing, like going outside just to sit on the porch. That's real fun right there, trying to chill on your porch and theres an ostrich waiting to make you it's bitch. Weirdness.
Anyways, in other news, i want to say that I think Obama will get the presidential candidacy against John McCain, who pretty much already got the republican candidacy (i mean come on, seriously). I do agree that Clinton is pretty much right behind Obama, but the facts are, he's ahead, and i think it will stay that way. Apparently people think we are ready for a black president before a woman president, which in my opinion means absolute shit. Anyone can run this country, it just so happens that no one thinks it's possible for certain groups of people.
In news that i found interesting, Vanna has ended their tour to work on their new album, which I anticipate may be greater than Curses, which in itself was amazing. I had the chance to meet Vanna in Pennsylvania on February 26th, and Brandon, their drummer (crazy haired black dude) has left the band. I was disappointed, to say the least, but I hope Brandon finds peace in all that he does. The band does not see a new drummer coming any time soon, but i can assume that they will need one for writing a new album haha. I wish them all the best in finding a new drummer and making their new album the greatest yet.
I might start a Video blog, it might be fun haha.
Nah, it would probably not be that interesting, but here's to trying anyways :D
If I indeed do start it, be on the lookout for a web address.
If i do start it, support would be great :)
Carl |
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| update for me |
[Jan. 16th, 2008|09:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Sounds of Animals Fighting | ] |
I feel like I've lived under a rock for a long time.
Let me start off with the past. After 2006, nothing seemed to go correctly, as we all know. In september, i was involved ina car crash, we all know about that, unless you don't pay attention at all, in which case you can of course go fuck yourself :P
after that, i still don't drive, i did start going to school in the fall of 2007, and before that, it was all a bunch of working and nothing.
Pretty lame, i know.
Starting in early november, i've been talking to this girl Samantha, We talk alot. We hang out accasionally, she is a nice girl. However, while i still work the same shitty job, live in my room, and have alot to do for school, (all this under the fact that I still don't have my license) i don't think that i can ever make her priority. So i'm gonna put off dating her until i at least get my license.
for the past 2 weeks, things have escalated to an all out battle for my soul, between my oversleeping and my habit of staying up til 4-5 in the morning, knowing i have work at around 9 ro 11, depending whether or not its the weekend.
Today was good, i got up at 6 in the morning, which if you know me, is an absolute miracle. I am hoping that going to bed at midnight each night well do some good.
Tomorrow is thursday, and me and Sammie (Samantha) are supposed to be hanging out after she gets out of school. (i feel naughty having any feelign toward a junior in high school while i'm 19 years old :-/)
Friday, i go with drew and the guys, possibly also with Drew's now ex-girlfriend niki to see the movie Cloverfield. That movie gets me so excited, and if anyone were to ever try and stop me form seeing it, i will bust on your chest.
You get the picture. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 25th, 2007|11:20 pm] |
Today has just been one rainy day.
I was just sitting here, playing video games.
A friend came over not long from now, and she was crying, (rainy day, go figure) and she told me that her uncle died today, and that her mom had flipped out and said some things, one thing led to another, and she ended up coming here. She said she had nowhere else to go, and i agree, but either way, i'm glad i was the one she came to. That was at that moment, but then it came time where i should say something that would comfort her if at least a little bit, and at that moment i wished i hadn't been the one she'd come to see.
All i could really tell her was that thing's like this happen because of bad luck, not because no one did anything. It was all just really really really bad luck. I told her it was really bad luck and that there wasn't much else she could do but hope that things would get better.
I hadn't been there for her throughout everything she'd been going through since we talked last. I remembered the friendship she and i had before, and how it changed. i'm trying to get it back, but right now, i feel like the most useless person to her at that point.
Another friend told me it's all i could have done, and that sometimes it's enough. I just wish i thought it were enough. |
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| fuck this |
[Dec. 14th, 2006|09:51 pm] |
Every time i try it fails, nothing will do,
I won't do.
I seriously give up
I give up on finding myself a relationship, i don't care if it makes me lonely and bitter. I really don't, all i knwo is that i'm fucking done. I refuse to get my hopes up for girls who won't talk to me when it's not convienient to them. That's the only girls i ever seem to take interest in. It's really frustrating, it really is. But whatever, i'm done with relationships, women, love lives, seriously, I'm done. Not that I'm going gay or anything, I have just had it.
FUCK |
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| No Subject |
[Dec. 14th, 2006|12:21 am] |
*sigh* I wonder if I should even try, I'm undesirable. Why would anyone actually want to be with me? I don't see the point anymore. I might even give up on dating and relationships in general if something don't happen soon. I want something to happen with me and this girl, but why would she even consider me? I mean, come on, it's me we're talking about here, not some "scene" guy or someone she'd find attractive. There isn't much attractive about me. Fuck. thats why i ranted. Take a look, I'm sure you'll find it funny. I know i did after i read it :D But seriously, somethings gotta happen, I'm losing hope, and fast. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 22nd, 2006|01:27 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | angry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Scene Aesthetic | ] |
cock nigger fuck face ass lick buttfuck hyper active penisface son of a bitch motherfucker shut your fucking mouth before I fucking shut it for you son of a bitch fucking a horse and a cow at the same time faggot. |
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| Thanksgiving, what am I thankful for? |
[Nov. 21st, 2006|04:55 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Forgotten | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Across Five Aprils-Tallahassee's For Hookers | ] |
Thanksgiving is like 2 days away. I am going to my aunts house again to have dinner with the family that I know i'll always have, no matter how screwed up me or my life become. I've realized a few things since my graduation.
First of all, i know that right after everyones done eating i know that my cousin Marcus is going to want everyone to say what were thankful for, and everyone loves Marcus, even myself, so we all will. The only thing is, I really don't know what to be thankful for. I mean, my family is more supportive than they have ever been. I guess I can be thankful for that.
One thing I have realized is only the people who come over just to say hi, who love to do things with you, think of you as a brother, think of you as a great friend, will laugh at the crazy shit you'll do are the friends that are worth keeping. A little run-in here or there isn't real friends, it's just friends. So no matter how much I hope to god I'll see them, alot of my friends from highschool are just that, friends. My real friends are the ones who have really tried to keep contact, even though I may not be around alot. The friends that i still share great moments with, the friends that have been there since the beginning, the friends I know will ALWAYS be there, the ones I am thinking about right now, those are my real friends. Sure, almost none of them will see this, but I guess I'll find some other way to tell them. So I guess that leaves me with two things to be thankful for: My Family and my Real Friends.
and maybe if you don't think your one of the REAL friends, maybe you should leave a comment of some sort, or e-mail me. Or if you see me on AIM, well, some of you might, because i've changed my SN so many times, I forgot the old ones. If you really want to keep in touch, truly, then IM me, call me, anything you want to do, visit me, or even just send me an e-mail, and then you can brush me off forever, whatever you want, just let me know we were truly friends, if not Real friends.
INFO:
AIM: theskywillfollow
phone#:7231970
cell#:8082479
email:antnythedinosaur@yahoo.com |
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